Amie Dawson, Ph.D.The concept of pegging, often called “bend over boyfriend” or simply BOB is appreciated by couples that are willing to dive into sexual exploration.
Due to the overwhelming amount of research on both the psychological and physiological impacts of physical intimacy with your partner that has gone into the creation of pegging, it is necessary to also perform a comprehensive psychological and physiological study to fully understand all the profound benefits it could bring to your relationship.
There is no one form, style, or method to anal play unless you strictly follow the simple rules for that game. In order to have a quality time while pegging, you and your partner need to follow through with these steps.
Pegging is a type of sex play that involves a considerable time commitment up front and is a slower form of sex play.
- Give your opinion first.
Anal sexual intercourse is a very intimate activity that requires a lot of communication. You can have perfectly comfortable anal penetration without much pain as long as you listen carefully to your body’s warning signs and if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort do not force the penetration. Just stop, add some lube, insert your fingers or an anal sex toy to dilate the anus before reaching for the strap-on dildo. And talk about this with your partner!
If you’re unable to talk about the principle of pegging, you probably shouldn’t even think about it(or at least you are not ready to peg safely).
- Learn to be comfortable with anal penetration.
If you have not had anal intercourse before and want to have one, it might not be the best idea to start with the preparation of the anus.
Start on your own first and explore what it feels like.
Besides your own fingers, there are other toys and gear that you can buy in any sex shop (be sure to use lots of water-based lubricant and latex or non-latex gloves). One of the habits thought to be helpful before your first pegging with your partner is a nice prostate massage. It is worthwhile to come up with your own way of doing this.
Moving along with the explorations you do on your own would also make you a more receptive partner.
- Take a closer look at his anatomy.
If you are a female partner, you must know all the fundamentals of healthy anal play, and you must also be aware of the male sexual anatomy as well (particularly the anus and the prostate gland). The best way to learn what your person likes is to watch him enjoy himself and give you the chance to offer some pleasuring. Not everybody is likely comfortable with this and one way to minimize self-consciousness is by making him wear a blindfold so that he cannot see.
The act of using a blindfold makes it easier for you to slip into your imagination and helps you to get as close to the real deal as you want.
- Put on your gear.
It’s important to find a good quality dildo and a comfortable strap-on for the pegging individual doing the penetrating.
The partner with the penis should be the one to select the dildo. Styles of harnesses provide a number of support belts to find the correct one for a strap-on. It is just as important to find the correct dildo for his body and size preferences.
The particular aspects you need to look for in a dildo include that the toy is made specifically for pegging. Depending on the type of the dildo toy and strap-on, you can easily choose your bottle of lubricant on hand as well as gloves and, depending on the type of toy, some condoms for additional safety.
- Test it out by yourself.
Pegging provides the opportunity for intense role play and gender-bending encounters, and many people are
shocked by how much they are turned on by the feeling and how “real” it feels. Still, there are others who feel very weird after putting a strap-on. Try it out, test several models and wear it for a while once you come back home.
Try wearing it under your clothes to see what it looks like to show yourself to someone wearing a strap-on.
Have your strap on prepared, try dancing, and masturbating all while still wearing your strap-on.
This will help you get used to the sensation and let you learn how your gestures are being transformed into the motion for the dildo.
- Do not run to the point of discomfort.
Penetration into the anus must not be hurried so if you’re about to perform some pegging, schedule in a lot of warm-up time.
Make sure both of you are very turned on and in a comfortable state of mind. Some couples will begin with penile-vaginal intercourse and then turn to self-emploted, external anal penetration.
Doing it right looks really close to porno movies, but be mindful that’s not the right way to do it especially when it is your first attempt.
- Let him take it in as slowly as possible
After you have probed his anus he should be ready. If any resistance is encountered, gently press the dildo up against his anus a little further. For the first few times, just let your partner relax and attempt to slide the dildo into his butthole. When the dildo is inside of your man, it is advised to not move too quickly at first, to pay attention to his body and the motions, and try your best to move with him.
If you are the one using the dildo, always make sure not to yank the dildo out quickly from your partner’s body (unless he asks).
- Always use a lube
Keep a lubricant bottle handy, make sure to add more lube while you are playing with his anus and preparing it for penetration, and keep the base of the dildo clean and smooth.
If it is halfway through your partner’s body, you can add lubricant to the portion that is not in him, and while you
are playing with the toy, as it is completely out of your partner, apply more lubricant to the tip and the whole shaft.
- You should let him set the tempo.
One method of helping your partner learn how quickly he needs his stroke to move is to make him move but stay relatively still. In the beginning, it is best if you do not move at all.
Doing so in this way will make sure you understand how to move with the dildo you are about to insert and will help you discover what fun stuff your partner loves. Try to remind him that he can still go a little slower, or faster, all he has to do is ask.
- Just watch him, and wait to do a deeper exploration later.
This doesn’t mean that you are off the hook. Once he’s relaxed with the dildo, it’s time to further take charge.
Start by slowly and gently inserting the dildo into his anus. You have to remember that the small dildo means less worries and more possibilities when using it, while a big dildo will potentially place excess pressure on the network of nerves within the anus. As you both get into it and feel more relaxed you should try deeper thrusting, but pay attention both his reaction and to the movement of his body.
- Do not forget the other parts of the body.
The ultimate focus of pegging may be on the male’s ass, but your partner still has the same sexual thrills. If you can put in other areas of his body, all the better. In different positions, you will be able to massage his back, give him a handjob simultaneously, or a handjob when you are rubbing his back. There is more than one of these methods. Be aware that some men can lose their erections when they are penetrated inside, but this does not mean
they do not like being touched and it does not mean that they do not want to be penetrated. One way to massage his skin is to brush against him and use other (harder) touches.
Another is to work your fingernails against his skin to make him feel more and more aroused. For instance, you can try rubbing, massaging, running the fingernails against his chest, or even slapping his skin.
- Test out various positions to see which one produces the best outcomes.
Given the long association between rear-entry positions and anal sex, there are several equally successful sex positions that will perform just as well for both anal sex and pegging.
Every position for anal intercourse has its pros and cons. By changing where you want to sit you may adjust where the sensation feels the most pleasurable. By switching different positions, you will experience changes in your flexibility.
- A simple hint
To get started in pegging, you should give your partner a heads-up before, so he knows that it’s his job to get ready.
If he plays with toys by himself first he’ll become more comfortable, which will help his body become looser,
and be able to hold and incorporate more of the toy into his body in a shorter period of time.
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