Michael SampsonOccasionally, while browsing sex shop websites, I come across a category called “gay sex toys”. Does this mean that the sex toys are gay? What is it about a sex toy that makes it ‘homosexual’ in the first place?
Of course, it does not take me long to realize that stores do not describe the toys, customers do. There are a large number of sex shops that cater exclusively to homosexual men.
Also, sex shops that want to appeal to all customers try to attract gay men by putting a circle around a collection of sex toys and telling customers that the sex toys are great if they identify as gay.
It’s perfectly fine to target your marketing efforts to a specific demographic (well, actually, if you want to engage in an analysis of capitalism, there is PLENTY wrong with it, but that’s a different article for a different website), and it’s even encouraged.
However, if you believe that the purpose of a sex toy is to provide pleasure, there are a number of issues with choosing sex toys based on a person’s sexual identity or orientation.
This is nothing more than a marketing ploy.
Not all gay men have sex the same way, which is perhaps the most obvious problem. Suggesting that a sex toy is beneficial for gay men almost always results in enforcing a preconceived notion of what gay sex should look like.
The only people who should have a say in setting this agenda are those who have sexual relations with each other. For example: gay sex toys are often combined with anal sex toys or prostate massagers.
Anal sex is enjoyed by some gay men while it is not enjoyed by others. Not all homosexual men have anal sex with other homosexual men.
Another way to think about gay sex toys is that they should be sex gadgets that can be used by two different penises at the same time.
Again, this may be true in some cases, but not in all cases, and it may never be true for you. Gay men may be single, and looking for a sex toy to use on their own.
Also, gay men may not have the kind of penis that “male sex toys” are designed for.
You should not buy a sex toy that makes you feel like you have to adhere to its specifications when it comes to pleasure. Instead, buy a body-friendly sex toy that works for you just the way you are.
The concept of homosexual sex toys is largely a marketing ploy to attract male customers. Butt plugs, penis sleeves, and anal lubricants are common items that retailers offer in this section of their website or shop. Shopping in that section won’t necessarily mean you don’t get what you want. But it almost always means that you are allowing someone else to limit your options, which in turn may limit the potential for sexual pleasure.
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