Amie Dawson, Ph.D.Sexual intercourse allows for a lot of physical contact which can be very intimate and, if you have the appropriate body parts, can be very beneficial when trying to get pregnant.
However, the reality remains that intercourse is not a particularly effective method of inducing orgasms. There are a few people who can easily orgasm during sexual encounters, but for the majority of us, experiencing orgasms during intercourse requires some creativity, sexual experience, and the use of a few select phrases from time to time. But orgasms during intercourse are still possible, and if you want to have more orgasms during sexual encounters, read on.
Never feel compelled to orgasm during sexual contact; this is the most ineffective way to induce orgasm.
Accept the reality regarding the limits of sexual intercourse.
Typically, orgasms occur as a result of intense, consistent stimulation of areas of the body that feel pleasurable. The penis, vulva, clitoris, perineum, anus, and nipples are some of the most well-known body parts. There are others, but let’s call these the Big Six.
Traditionally, intercourse consists of you and your partner rolling back and forth, with the main movement being the thrusting of the hips and genitals of one or both partners.
The reality is that this rarely generates enough stimulation for both partners to experience an orgasm, and in some cases, neither party experiences one at all.
The definitions are shifting.
If you have a sexual relationship with a man, the act of having sexual relations with him is often enough to bring him to orgasm.
However, despite the fact that the penis experiences a lot of stimulation and its owner feels pleasure, no matter how big or small it is, and no matter how forcefully it moves in and out of your body, it is unlikely to be enough to cause an orgasm. If you desire orgasms during intercourse, you need to add something else into the mix; or, in other words, you need to redefine what intercourse is.
The first step is to give yourself orgasms.
If you are unable to have them yourself or through other forms of sex play, it is doubtful that you can have them through sexual contact. If you are hoping to experience orgasm through the sheer magic of sexual encounters, you will most likely be disappointed.
First, you need to understand what causes you to have an orgasm. When you are stimulated, be specific about what kind of stimulation you want (friction or pressure, hard/soft, fast/slow, or a combination) and where you want it (not just “down there,” but be specific about which parts of your body give you the most pleasure when you are stimulated).
Masturbation is the easiest way to determine this.
Just do it yourself
If you know how to induce orgasm yourself, it will be much easier to incorporate this stimulation into sexual encounters with other people. Of course, you don’t want to talk to your partner about it, you can do it without him or her knowing.
For example, this may mean engaging in imaginative play (which is not cheating) or using your own hands to stimulate yourself during sexual encounters, for example. It may involve assuming a position where you are being stimulated in the way you want.
It is better and less difficult to discuss the situation with your partner.
Alternatively, talk to your partner.
It is possible to have intercourse differently if you can agree that you want orgasms during the encounter and accept that traditional intercourse is rather one-sided. If you are a woman who needs extra clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, it is possible that your partner can provide some of that extra stimulation.
If you are a man who feels desensitized during sexual encounters, your partner may be able to provide more subtle or stronger stimulation. If you can think of intercourse as a team effort rather than as one of you doing something for the other, the rewards may be more equitably distributed.
Allow your fingers (or hands, wrists, elbows, or other body parts) to do the talking.
It’s not hard to experience orgasms during sexual encounters. For most people, this simply means increasing their manual stimulation. In many cases, simply using your hands for additional stimulation is enough as long as you can reach them and have the dexterity.
If you are not sure what to do with your hands, you can learn how to give a lady a handjob and how to give a man a handjob by reading the instructions below.
Experiment with different sex positions.
Even the ideal sex position won’t guarantee orgasm through penetration without additional stimulation, but it can make a significant difference for some people in certain situations.
If you have sex in a sex position that is uncomfortable or painful, your chances of orgasm will be significantly reduced. A good sex position will allow you to feel direct stimulation in the areas of your body that you prefer. When it comes to clitoral stimulation, a position where your body is pressed tightly against your partner and where you rub a lot may be the ideal option for you.
Additional stimulation can be achieved through sex toys.
Sex toys are great tools to increase the level of stimulation during the sexual encounter and increase the likelihood of orgasm. While some vibrators are worn vaginally (egg vibrator), others are worn anally (butt plug or prostate massager) while being penetrated. And the most preferred sex toys that can be used during sex are clitoral stimulators (usually, in the form of bullet vibrator or clit sucking vibrator).
Others are worn on the hand so that you can touch any part of the body and immediately feel a vibration in that region.
Wand-type vibrators, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, are ideal for couples because they can be easily positioned between two bodies. A man can also wear vibrating cock rings, which come in different designs (or at the base of a dildo).
Mix it all to achieve orgasms
You shouldn’t think of sexual encounters as something that starts and can’t end until an orgasm (or fatigue) occurs. You can switch from oral sex to intercourse, or from intercourse to mutual masturbation, or you can switch to something else entirely.
There is no right or wrong way to have sex, and there are no restrictions about the sequence in which you perform your sexual acts.
However, if you really want to have an orgasm during intercourse, you might consider doing something else to bring yourself to orgasm first, and then finishing with intercourse.
Come first, and then come later if you want.
If you are committed to the concept of having an orgasm during sexual contact, you may start to worry about whether or not it will come during intercourse. This is a major turnoff that will greatly decrease your chances of having an orgasm in most cases.
The best way to deal with this is to first try to have an orgasm before moving on to sex. Although this may not work for you if you are someone who usually only has one orgasm, many people can have more than one, and as long as you have the time for two orgasms, you may find that having a short orgasm at the beginning alleviates a lot of the stress later on.
Add comment