Reasons Why You May Not Be Having Orgasms Featured

Reasons Why You May Not Be Having Orgasms

Orgasmic dysfunction is a disorder in which a person has trouble achieving orgasm. And when they’re sexually stimulated and there’s enough sexual stimulation, they have trouble. Female orgasmic dysfunction is the name given to this disorder in women. Orgasmic dysfunction can also affect men, although it is much less common.

There are a variety of explanations that someone might be unable to climax. The first thing to understand is that just because you aren’t having orgasms or have never had an orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t have one.

So it is worth noting that there are numerous excellent sexual acts that do not require orgasms.

But if you want to reach a climax, however, keep reading to learn about the most successful techniques you can add to your love game.

When people ask “How to have an orgasm”, which they do with some regularity, I always start by asking a few questions of my own. These questions include:

  • Have you ever experienced an orgasm (including one following by masturbation)?
  • Do you masturbate on a daily basis?
  • Do you think you’d notice an orgasm if you had one?

The first question is vital because many people who have never had an orgasm actually need the right knowledge to know how to have one. This is especially relevant for females.

If you’ve already experienced orgasms and are unable to climax at the time being, it’s probably not related to understanding when and how to touch yourself. It’s not that this situation is more optimistic or hopeless than the other; they’re just different, and the different techniques to orgasm may vary as a result.

The masturbation topic is significant as, if you don’t have orgasms, learning to orgasm via masturbation is far easier than learning to orgasm through sexual intercourse. If you’re not used to masturbating, it may make the process more difficult (though again, not impossible).

Once we’ve gotten through the preliminaries, we’ll have to do some detective work to find out why you can’t orgasm.
The right approach to do this is to start thinking about the elements of orgasms and see if anything could be standing in the way.

To begin, examine where the issues might be occurring:

  • Are you lacking in sex desire, which leads to you not enjoying or engaging in sexual activity and, as a result, not orgasming?
  • Do you want to have sex (the motivation part), but you don’t get very turned on once you start having sex (the excitement part)?
  • Do you want to have intercourse, get horny, but can’t seem to get it to the next stage to have a climax (the real orgasm part)?

Consider some of the more common reasons for your lack of orgasm. Here’s a description of some of the most common reasons people have trouble orgasming.

If Your Body Is Unable To Climax

There may be physical reasons you aren’t getting orgasms because orgasm includes so many different processes in your body (neurological, anatomical, muscular, hormonal, respiratory, and so on). Decreased sensation due to paralysis, age, or some drugs, the indirect effects of chronic illness and diseases, and the health consequences of certain medications may all prevent orgasm.

If you’re having trouble orgasming, speak to your general practitioner to rule out or discover possible physical triggers. A good way to start is by trying to masturbate with sex toys

Masturbating with vibrators

There are special products on the market, some of which designed for female stimulation:

Others are intended for male pleasuring:

The bottom line is that there aren’t many exclusively physical triggers of orgasm that can’t be prevented.

If Your Mind Is Unable To Climax

Many descriptions of orgasms state that it is a cognitive and physical sensation in equal measure. As a result, it’s understandable that our mental state, both how we feel and how we think, will obstruct our ability to orgasm. You must be comfortable, and concentrate sufficiently to take in the pleasurable sensations in order to orgasm.

Depression, stress, and PTSD are all mental health disorders that can make orgasm difficult.

Aside from mental disorders, if you’re stressed out, you’ll need to overcome the stress, or otherwise, it can keep you from achieving orgasm.

If you are having relationship problems

It’s not rare for someone to be able to orgasm while masturbating but have trouble doing so with a partner. If you can reliably have an orgasm when masturbating but not with a partner, one of a few factors may be preventing you from doing so.

When the issue is one of the sexual techniques, it is the easiest one to resolve.

It may also be an issue in the relationship that has nothing to do with sex. Although this isn’t always the case, getting an orgasm requires relaxation and confidence, and orgasms may not occur if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel comfortable or where there isn’t enough trust.

Note that many couples are often separated by physical distance, due to various reasons. If frequent separation is required within a relationship, it can easily become a problem related to their sexual behavior. Luckily, we live in a technological world, where even physical distance can be overcome. A good method to resolve your relationship problems, due to being physically separated from your partner is to try a remote-control vibrator next time he or she is o a business trip in a different country or continent.

Finally, if you can have orgasms on your own but not with a partner, it may be due to the discomfort or anxiety you’re experiencing during sex.

How certain drugs may get in your way of orgasming

A variety of drugs may prevent you from achieving an orgasm. Medication can affect orgasm either directly or indirectly by making you sleepy, reducing your ability to focus, or lowering your sexual drive.

If you’re having trouble orgasming and you’re taking certain medicines that may interfere with the normal sexual response, talk to the doctor who prescribed it and consider possible resolutions.

How society may prevent you from orgasming

Although this is one of the more subtle effects on your ability to orgasm, it can still have a significant impact.

Sexual education

Here are a few examples of how your environment and culture affect your ability to achieve orgasm:

  • The amount and quality of sex education you get in school
  • Messages about your body that you got as a kid and still struggle with today
  • Sexual gratification and sexual wellbeing values and beliefs
  • Sexuality and gender values and attitudes

When contemplating why you might not be getting orgasms, the effect of being bombarded with sex-negative messages should not be overlooked. This is especially true for women who are often told that “good girls” aren’t sexual and that they should suppress or be ashamed of their sexual desire and development.

It can be frustrating to be unable to orgasm, whether you are a male or a female, and it can have a detrimental effect on your relationship. With the right therapy, you might be able to achieve a climax and even learn how to do it on a regular basis. It’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone. Orgasmic dysfunction affects many women and men at some stage in their lives.

If you have orgasmic dysfunction, therapy can be especially beneficial. The way you think about sexual activity is a big part of a person or couple’s counseling. You and your partner can learn more about each other’s sexual needs and desires through consulting with a therapist.

A good way to start is fixing any relationship problems or daily stressors that might be preventing you from orgasming.

Amie Dawson, Ph.D.

Amie Dawson, Ph.D.

Amie is your go-to gal for all things related to sex and sexual well-being.

A certified sex educator and award-winning sex toy reviewer, Amie has spent her career empowering individuals and couples to embrace their sexuality.

With a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and an ever-growing collection of over 200 vibrators, she's got the knowledge and experience to guide you on your pleasure-seeking journey.

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