Amie Dawson, Ph.D.I’ve spoken with thousands of guys who had no idea they could use a vibrator. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for guys “like them.” Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts.
Vibrators aren’t made for one gender, body type, orientation, or political affiliation.
They’re for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure. People with penises in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips on how to use a vibrator on a penis.
Time Required: The first few times you experiment, give yourself lots of time and privacy.
Types of vibrators that work best on penises
- Wand massagers like the Magic Wand are powerful and can work well for penile stimulation, especially on the frenulum. However, toys designed specifically for penises may be preferable.
- Penis vibrators like the Fun Factory Manta, Man Wand, Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo, or Arcwave Ion are shaped to encompass the penis and may provide more targeted, encompassing stimulation.
- Vibrating penis sleeves or masturbators like the Apollo stroker can add vibration to the stroking sensation. Look for ones with a textured interior for added pleasure.
Preparation
- Talk to your partner first and get enthusiastic consent before using a vibrator on them. Check in regularly during play to ensure they’re enjoying the sensations.
- Choose a vibrator suitable for penile stimulation. Penis-specific vibrators, bullet vibes, wand massagers, and clit suckers can all work well. Ensure it’s made of body-safe materials.
- Apply water-based lube to reduce friction and increase comfort.
Techniques & placement
- Start with a low vibration setting and gently explore erogenous zones like the penis shaft, frenulum, scrotum, perineum, and nipples. Build intensity gradually.
- Penis head and shaft: Focus mostly around the base of the head and up and down the shaft, rather than directly on the sensitive head.
- Frenulum (underside of penis head): This highly erogenous zone responds well to gentle vibration for many. Try positioning the vibrator vertically under the frenulum.
- Scrotum/Balls: Gently run the vibrator around the scrotum, being mindful of sensitivity levels. This pairs well with oral sex.
- Perineum (between scrotum and anus): Pressing a vibrator here can stimulate the prostate externally. Apply gentle pressure and use a finger-sized vibe for precision.
- Nipples: Slowly circle the vibrator around the nipples, building anticipation.
- Create imaginary lines between erogenous zones with the vibrator, dragging it slowly to tease.
- Tilt the vibrator on its side to disperse the vibrations for a broader, gentler sensation.
- Be cautious with anal play unless you’ve explored it before. Stick to nearby areas like the perineum, lower back, and butt cheeks for safer, indirect stimulation.
General tips
- Aim to increase pleasure rather than just focusing on orgasm. Take it slow and sensual.
- Observe your partner’s verbal and visual cues and adjust technique accordingly.
- Incorporate vibrators into oral sex by pressing them against the shaft, balls or perineum.
- Using a vibrator on yourself first can give insight into what might feel pleasurable for a partner. Go gentler than you would on yourself initially.
- For couples’ play, take turns using the vibrator on each other. Wash it or cover it with a condom between partners to prevent STI transmission.
Easy steps for using a male vibrator
Explore the myth.
Most people think vibrators are for women only. Not true. Research on vibrator use tells us that almost half of all men have used a vibrator. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea.
The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.
Research before you buy it.
Learn a little bit about vibrator basics before you buy one. Some vibrators are designed for men’s bodies, but most can be used by people of all genders. Once you’ve made your purchase make sure you have the right batteries (unless it’s a rechargeable vibe), take it home and before you even try to use it, check it out and acquaint yourself with its features.
Make sure it’s in good working order before you try it. If it isn’t, any reputable sex shop will have a return policy. Don’t let embarrassment or shame stop you before you even get a chance to try a vibrator.
Don’t look away.
Many of us who are sighted have sex with our eyes closed, or at least we close our eyes at the moments of the most intense pleasure.
There’s nothing wrong with this, but when you are first trying a vibrator out it can reduce the benefits.Guys aren’t always so specific about their pleasure spots. You may know that you love the feeling of stimulation around the head of the penis, or the scrotum or shaft.
But are you aware of the specific spots? Have you noticed how in one area strong squeezing is what turns you on, and in another it’s a lighter touch that drives you wild?
Vibrators can give you a tool to do just this kind of exploration, and if you do it with the lights on, or at least with focused attention, you may learn a thing or two about your sexual response that you didn’t know before.
Try it without the motor first.
You may be 100% familiar with your genitals (or at least think you are), but how well do you know your calves or thighs?
When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body.
Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
Start general, then get specific.
We are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body but the only area capable of giving them an orgasm. In fact, there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure.
Using a vibrator is a great way to find them.
Once you turn your vibrator on, start by touching it to the parts of your body furthest from your genitals (which is probably where you are going to want to touch first). Use the vibrator on your feet, feel what it’s like on your fingers and hand.
Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders, and neck, your scalp and face. Most guys will use a vibrator around the penis, scrotum, ass, and nipples, but a vibrator never gets tired (although the motor can burn out) so don’t be in a hurry to get there.
Once you’ve got a feel of vibration all over your body you can slowly move to the more sensitive parts.
The sensitive parts.
Move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples.The more sensitive the area you’re moving to, the slower you should set the vibrator speed. You can use a vibrator to stroke up and down the shaft of the penis or to gently roll around the head and frenulum.
If you aren’t sure how you’d use a vibrator read up on the anatomy of the penis and treat it like a checklist.
Different speeds for different parts.
Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particularly around the genitals.
But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.
Using pressure to vary the feel.
It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally, something that some men love.
Some guys find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them orgasm without ever moving the vibrator.
Don’t expect the vibrator to do all the work for you. Try applying different kinds of pressure as you hold the vibrator to find what works for you.
External vs. internal vibration.
Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally.
You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use.
You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water-based lubricant for any penetration play.
External anal stimulation.
The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds favorably to stimulation.As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your bum, and your inner thighs. To do so, you can use most types of vibrating accessories, even a small bullet vibrator will do the work.
Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go.
Once they get over the newness of the feeling many men find this highly pleasurable.
Anal penetration with a vibrator.
Anal penetration requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant. Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body.
Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready.
Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.
Tips:
Give yourself time to explore on your own.
When you are with a partner there’s always some part of your attention that is focused on them. This makes sense, but performance anxiety and general discomfort about trying new things can really get in the way of you enjoying yourself and noticing some of the great things that sex with a vibrator has to offer.
So even if you’ve got a partner who is ready and willing, take your vibrator for a few solo spins before using it with a partner.
Prostate massagers.
Some vibrators are better suited for prostate massage than others. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well.
Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.
Be patient.
Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation.
Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance.
Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be surprised by the results.
Battery vibrator tip.
If you purchased a vibrator that takes batteries, remember to take the batteries out of the vibrator each time you finished using it.
If batteries are left in the vibrator may turn on accidentally and stay at a low speed, which will burn out the motor and could make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from.
Also if you leave batteries in your toy and forget it, they can corrode and destroy the vibrator.
Anal vibrator safety.
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina.
Always use a water-based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus.
Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.
I am 73 with no prostate. I can no longer have sex due to inability to get hard but I do get very arroused over the thought of several things from anal sex to being tied and caned
My main concern is using a cock and anal vibrator for the first time.
Will it be painful? Will I get any arousement with no prostate?
Can I do this?
I get where you’re coming from with wanting to try new things like a cock and anal vibrator, especially at 73 and after prostatectomy.
Firstly, about the worry of it being painful – that’s a super valid concern. My advice? Take it slow, use a ton of lube, and maybe start with something small. Remember, this should be about pleasure, not pain. If anything feels off, it’s totally okay to stop and reassess.
Now, about arousal without a prostate – yes, you can still find pleasure. Arousal isn’t just about one part of your body; it’s a mix of physical sensation and all the sexy thoughts and fantasies in your head. Even without a prostate, the sensations from the vibrator, combined with what turns you on mentally, can still bring you a lot of joy.
As for giving this a go – absolutely, you can! Age or changes in your body shouldn’t hold you back from exploring and enjoying your sexuality. It’s about finding what clicks with your body as it is now.
Here are a few tips:
Talk About It: If you’ve got a partner, open up about your desires and worries. Exploring together can make the experience even better.
Safety First: Always use toys meant for anal play (they should have a flared base) and pick ones made from safe materials like silicone.
Check In With Your Health: At 73, it’s smart to stay on top of your health. Maybe have a chat with your doctor just to be sure everything’s good for this kind of play.
Enjoy the Ride: Discovering new sides of your sexuality, no matter your age, can be incredibly fulfilling. Keep an open mind and focus on what feels good for you.
Remember, this journey into new forms of pleasure is yours, and what matters most is finding ways to enjoy yourself that feel safe, comfortable, and downright good. Cheers to new adventures in pleasure!